I Failed You
by DragonWithin98
Summary: All the members of the team had to go through therapy to recover from the simulation. The guilt and pain hit Robin the hardest which led him to resign from the team. His friends and even his mentor 'Batman' were searching for him but he has disappeared from the face of Earth. Will they find him and can they mend the scars in his heart?
1. Chapter 1: Enough

**_Hey Guys!_**

 ** _IMPORTANT: THE BOOK COVER IS NOT MINE AND IT WAS FOUND ON PINTEREST WITH NO ORIGINAL LINK. IF ANYONE KNOWS THE ARTIST PLEASE LET ME KNOW._**

 ** _How's it going? I always write a lot of unfinished works but I'm very motivated to finish this._**

 ** _It's my way of venting and is inspired from a scene from Young Justice featuring Robin expressing his pain through therapy. That moment hit me right in the heart. Cause I was able to relate to what he was saying probably? I'm also very fond of Kid Flash and Batman's friendship with Robin._**

 ** _I wouldn't say this is perfect and I can't guarantee there will be no OOC at all but please let me know if there is. Constructive criticism is allowed :)_**

 ** _Without further ado, Enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Enough**

" **Hurting?** "

The word rang through Dick's head in echoes as his breath hitched before continuing his sentence.

"Try traumatized, I finally become leader and end up sending all my friends to their deaths."

He shivered at the mere thought of it as recollections and memories came in waves. Stronger and more painful. He clasped his hands together and exhaled slowly before proceeding.

"I know I did what I had to but… I hated it."

"When we started this team, I was desperate to be in charge."

He trembled a little more and fumbled. He was unraveling slowly but surely in the slowest way possible.

"B-but not anymore… and that's not even the worst of it…"

His face felt hot and tears threatened to form in his eyes. How could he be so weak? Falling apart from a fake reality where nothing even really happened.

"You can't tell Batman…"

He clasped his hands a little tighter, trying his best to pull himself together. He was trained to be calm no matter what circumstances he was in. He can't falter and neither does he allow it. Another deep breath to soothe his body as Black Canary talked. He was hoping she wouldn't notice.

"Nothing leaves this room." She mentioned.

"I've always wanted, expected t-to grow up and become him a-and the hero bit? I'm still all in but that thing, inside of him. The thing t-that drives him to sacrifice everything for the sake of his mission… That's not me…"

A thought clicked inside his mind. If he can't even make his father proud or be a good team leader, why even be a hero? Why still do this?

"I-I don't want to be **'The Batman'** anymore."

It was decided. His mind is made up. He stood up from his seat and clenched his fists slightly. He turned his head away for a moment.

"Robin?" Black Canary asked with concern.

Robin closed his eyes then looked back at the Black Canary. Her stare has softened and looked at Robin with genuine concern. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"This is for the best" he mentally noted.

"I'm quitting the team, I don't deserve the right to be here and I'm too inexperienced to continue. Here's my resignation letter."

Robin pulled out the keys to his room in the Mount Justice and pressed it inside the blonde's hands. She looked bewildered and quickly stood up from her seat and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Robin stop, think about this carefully… you are more capable than you think you are and this incident is not going to define you for the rest of your life. What you do from here matters."

Dick pushed Black Canary's hand aside gently and slowly walked towards the door.

"That's exactly what I'm doing now, what I'm doing now is for the betterment of the team and nothing will change that. Goodbye Black Canary."

Robin walked out the door and bolted. He ran and ran as fast as he could away from this place. The team, Batman, Justice League and most of all the shame that he carried along with him. He had to be somewhere else where no one can find him.

"I'm sorry everyone… Please forgive me."

* * *

The team was assembled in the living room, still left in distraught and pain from the simulation. Artemis was examining her arrows and tweaking it. Aqualad just laid down on the couch restlessly, daydreaming to get his mind away from the trauma. Megan was sluggishly whipping up some cookie batter but in an unenthusiastic manner. Connor wasn't present in the room as he left in a rampage. Kid flash was in another room with his shelves which displayed his wide range of souvenirs he has collected throughout his missions. He was busy arranging them and cleaning them with a small smile coming across his features.

That was when he heard lots of noises coming from the living room. He dashed there quickly to see lots of loud discussions going on.

"He left? But why would he do that? I was the one who thought the mission was real and influenced everyone to thinking the same way! He should come back!" Megan cried out.

Everybody turned away and kept quiet. Ever since the simulation, it has created a rift between them. They can't bear to look at each other without recalling the 'incident'

"There's no reason to blame yourself M'gann, we should try to find Robin now." Aqualad said as he broke the silence.

"Aqualad is right, you guys spilt up in teams of two and search every quarter of Gotham City He couldn't have gone far. I'll let Batman know." Black Canary directed.

They all nodded their heads but the speedster just stood there still processing the information. He couldn't believe it, his closest friend has always put up a strong front. Letting nothing falter him but now he ran away which is so unlike him. He sighed and dashed up into the zeta tubes.

"B-0-3, Kid Flash."

"Rob…please be ok"

It's been days since they saw Robin and they searched every inch of Gotham City to no avail. They were currently conducting the search parties again. Even Batman was not taking breaks and had to be reminded that he has done enough for the day.

"ROBIN!" Artemis yelled at the top of her lungs but only to be greeted with her own echoes.

Megan floated over to Artemis and touched her shoulder.

"That's enough Artemis… We just can't find him, we tried everywhere…He's gone maybe for good."

"NO! It can't be! He has to be here somewhere."

Megan flinched at Artemis outburst. Artemis never showed her emotional side before. She was always very reserved.

"Let's keep looking." Artemis bellowed while shooting an arrow across to another building.

Megan nodded and looked at the stars.

"Wherever you are Robin, I can't feel your mental presence. Could you be shutting me out?"

Megan then proceeded to fly up towards the Moon and after Artemis.

* * *

Kid Flash dashed around and perform maneuvers to avoid obstacles. He was fully aware and was at the top of his senses. He kept looking at all directions and started to pant a little. He went through the alleyways and some abandon buildings to find any traces of him. Batman told him that he never came back to the Bat Cave after disappearing from Mount Justice.

He skidded into a stop and used the wall as a support. His back was arched forward while placing his hands on his knees. His rest was quickly interrupted by the sound of an engine.

"Kid Flash! Any sign of him yet?" Aqualad called from above.

Kid Flash looked above him. Connor and Aqualad was board on top of Sphere. Sphere gave a robotic greeting.

"Not a single sight of him." Kid Flash said with disappointment.

"You don't look so good, we should resume our search tomorrow." Connor called out while descending Sphere.

"I'm fine, I have to find him… What if something happened to him and how would he get through it alone?" Kid Flash exasperated as he slowly fell forward.

Connor caught him before he fell flat into the concrete.

"Listen to Connor Kid. We need our energy and exhausting ourselves won't do any good. I'm sure he's fine." Aqualad said while carrying Kid Flash with Connor.

"I-I really hope so…" Kid Flash whispered as he fell unconscious.

* * *

 _ **What did you think? Anything you expect or anything off? Just let me know. This was suppose to be a oneshot but I just had more and more ideas which can build the whole story up. I hope you enjoy it :)**_


	2. Chapter 2: Crumble

_**Hey Guys!**_

 _ **IMPORTANT: THE BOOK COVER IS NOT MINE AND IT WAS FOUND ON PINTEREST WITH NO ORIGINAL LINK. IF ANYONE KNOWS THE ARTIST PLEASE LET ME KNOW.**_

 _ **Thank you for all the feedback you have given back to me! I wasn't expecting to receive such good feedback on the story. I will also like to thank one my reviewers for pointing out to me possible things that I could have missed and now I am trying my best to add or rectify it into this story. Thanks a lot! You were a huge help ;)**_

 _ **I technically poured my heart into this chapter so I hope the emotions do come through. I hope nothing is too OOC or cheesy. As I try my best to keep them in character as possible. I also hope there is a logical consistency to it. If not let me know as always :)**_

 _ **Also I normally add songs for your amusement haha, just what gets me into the mood or the inspirations for the chapter. Totally up to you if you want to check it out: 'What's It's Like To Be Lonely-Tyler Ward (Nightcore)'**_

 _ **Without further ado, enjoy the content :o**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Crumble**

"Robin!" Kid Flash shouted as he awoke with a start.

His heart pounded harshly against his chest and he was completely bewildered. He placed a shaky on his chest and tried to take in deep breaths to calm himself down.

"It was just a dream…Nothing happened…Phew thank god!"

He climbed out of bed and walked into the bathroom to clean himself up but only to realize he was still in his costume. That's when he recalled passing out after a dash throughout the entire city. Not to mention he has been doing it for a few consecutive days straight. He rubbed his temples and let out a sigh. He hasn't been resting well ever since he has gone missing. He was worried sick and he can't stop thinking about Robin. He knew Robin was never the type to run away from situations no matter what the circumstances are and the fact that he did this time was so unlike him. Kid still has trouble wrapping his head around his recent disappearance and behavior. It then occurred to him that this is why he's been dreaming of Robin being in grave danger. Drowning or getting taken away before his very eyes.

"Robin, you can't be right? You can't be dead or in trouble…You're s strong kid…a good person… You can take care of yourself right?" Kid Flash talked hoping to hear Robin's cocky remarks being shot back at him.

He was just painting a picture of how he wanted it to be. Robin punching him at the shoulder and giving that snarky grin back at him. Kid Flash then proceeded to exit the bathroom and change into his spare costume before setting out to find Robin again.

* * *

The cave was dim and had bats hanging out between the crevices and stalactites. Some hanging at the tip of the stalactites. There were drips of water falling into puddles or onto the ground sending out resonating echoes. There's only silence with the sound of the tapping of keys. The giant monitor illuminated the cave with a gentle glow and Batman was seated in front of the computer. He took off his cowl and placed it at the side. He was looking through surveillance cameras or any data logs could possibly lead to any news about his partner. He had bags under his eyes and exhaustion creased his features. There was a knock at the door and Batman turned his head towards the direction of the sound. Black Canary was leaning against the door frame and walked her way towards him.

"Any luck finding him?" she questioned while settling to lean against one of the tables by the monitor.

"Not a single trace, I probably trained the boy too well."

"You should take credit for that at least, I bet he couldn't have asked for a better dad."

"If that's the case! Why did he run? Why didn't he at least talk to anyone or me?" he raised his voice a little before taking a collective breath.

He's been stressed over the loss. Not loss. Disappearance of his adopted son. The shock overcame him greatly as he cared for him so much. He wanted more than anything for him to be alright. Not lose him like he did with his parents.

"Bruce, I know you're stressed and you have every right to be but listen maybe its high time we ask the Justice League to help. Expand the search area so we can cover more ground. He is probably long gone from Gotham." Black Canary insisted.

Bruce pounded his fist on the computer while still trying to keep his emotions intact.

"I… understand what you mean Dinah, but he is my son and my responsibility. What kind of father would I be if I can't find him? Besides, the League also has other issues to worry about with 'the Light' and other villains around."

She walked over and patted on his shoulder gently as consolation.

"With you worrying like that. I think you are just doing a fine job. I won't let the League know without your word of confirmation. I believe in you Bruce but know that you are not alone in this. We will find him. Now you should get some rest. Try somewhere outside of Gotham tomorrow." She said with a gentle kind tone before leaving the Bat Cave.

Bruce leaned back against the chair and took a look at the photo frame he placed by his work desk. He lifted it up and stared at the picture intently. He sighed heavily and placed a hand over his head while setting the picture down.

"Dick, where could you have possibly went? What are you doing all by yourself?"

The picture had Dick and Bruce without their costumes. Bruce wrapping his arm around Dick's neck while his other arm was ruffling his hair. They were both smiling gingerly back then.

* * *

There were loud rumbles and tumbling of objects that could be heard. A young boy was punching boxes and large barrels of all sorts. He panted and grunted as he kept throwing swift punches at all the objects that were once standing tall to be knocked all to the ground. He placed his hands on his knees as his hair fell forward. Sweat was rolling down the sides of his face and he looked up in determination once again. Robin was wearing his gloves for protecting his hands from any injuries and the rest of his clothes was just his usual hoodie and jeans. Robin was doing his best to keep his mind away from all the anguish and conflict he was feeling. The worst part was that it felt more unbearable as time went by. It transformed into hurt and pain. It was then Robin decided to have an outlet to keep his mind distracted. He wanted to forget the experience. The failure that he was and most of all the coward he is for running away.

Another barrel falls down but with each hit. Negative thoughts start to arise.

" _Pathetic"_

" _Why did you run?"_

" _How will the team and Batman even look at you?"_

" _This is probably the dumbest thing you could've done."_

" _And it's all your fault."_

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Robin screamed out as he ripped his gloves off.

He went on a rampage and punched fallen objects several times until it's broken. His hands throbbed in pain and got scraped from the rash actions. He rather feel pain because it's the only anesthetic to numb his mind and body. Especially the thoughts and trauma. Pain was better than feeling the guilt and fear. He then proceeded to punch the ground a few times before retreating and falling to his knees. He placed his head on the ground before letting out a wail and curling up to himself.

He prayed for a miracle to make the pain stop. Anything but the pain. It was too much even for him to handle but he couldn't cry. Neither does he know how.

He laid at his side in the dirt and looked up at the starry sky. It calmed him a bit because he knew he was home. A place he grew up in.

* * *

 _ **I got you guys didn't I haha. Some sort like a hint onto where he is XD Please let me know what you think. I feel like its good and bad? But I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself or overthinking it haha.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading! :)**_


	3. Chapter 3: Assimilate

_**Hey Guys!**_

 _ **IMPORTANT: THE BOOK COVER IS NOT MINE AND IT WAS FOUND ON PINTEREST WITH NO ORIGINAL LINK. IF ANYONE KNOWS THE ARTIST PLEASE LET ME KNOW.**_

 _ **I apologize for the long update. I had a lot of assignments that needed to be done. A big shout out to Sairey13 for all the good advice. Thanks for all the reviews and feedback from the reviewers as well! I didn't think this story would do too well. I really appreciate all the support this is getting :)**_

 _ **I know my story is not perfect and there may be plot-holes. If there are any problems or improvements to be made. Please let me know but I really hope everything is in the right order.**_

 _ **Also I normally add songs for your amusement haha, just what gets me into the mood or the inspirations for the chapter. Totally up to you if you want to check it out: 'Echo - Jason Walker'**_

 _ **I guess to make up for my absence, this chapter when over longer that I intended it to be. But it took me two days to write and a few days to think about the flow. So I hope this suffices and you guys thoroughly enjoy it!**_

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Assimilate**

 _Dreary_

 _Dark_

 _Dull_

 _Disconnected_

 _Despair_

Robin couldn't take it anymore.

What was this life he was living?

What was left to do to amend for his mistakes?

Why was he here?

 **Most importantly, what would his friends and Batman think of him for failing the mission and worst of all running away from everything without a trace?**

"Disgrace"

He knows that. That he should be ashamed of himself. That he shouldn't have been so selfish. It was so painful. How does one get through this?

Little by little. A mirror of himself showing signs of cracks that only deepened and connect with others. Intertwining and forming fragments. Soon, all that's left to do is for it to shatter.

His mental state was deteriorating. He was lying on the cold barren ground without any signs of movement. He opened his eyes ever so slightly and recalled how he ended up here. Alone just like he wanted and deserved.

The clearest image that formed in his head was that he was running without taking in a puff of air. He got out of Mount Justice. He knew from his training that he needed supplies but that couldn't stop Batman from finding him. He needed to erase to himself from existence. Robin made a quick trip to the Bat Cave ever so quietly. He grabbed money, gadgets like a map and a communication device. To order takeout food, in case it was ever needed to keep a low profile or even if he's in danger. He can take care of himself is what he believed.

This was when it occurred to him that he needed more things to cloak himself. Megan was the first issue as for her telepathy communication. Wolf to detect scent. The most vital one is Batman, he might have placed a tracking device on him. Looks need to be covered up too as they could use surveillance to track him. Voice could be detected through recognition. He formed the most intricate plan he possibly could.

He tinkered and grabbed some pieces to form a bracelet. He designed it to create waves that disrupt telepathy or hopefully nullify his thoughts from being verbalize. He brought cologne and he decided to cover himself up with dirt or substances he can salvage to throw off his scent. He set an EMP wave device at the highest frequency possible without it being damaging to him. He took a fabric face mask, a hoodie and sunglasses to cover his face much as possible. He practiced talking in accents or tones in his voice to practice undercover work or to disguise his identity whenever he was threatened. He wore the bracelet and his cover up before setting out with a backpack having all his necessities. He left behind his grappling hook and headed for the bus station. Grappling hooks will draw too much attention towards himself. He waited for the bus and looked at the routes that he needed to take. The buses that he needed to transfer to get to his destination. He waited and boarded the bus and took one last glance at the city. He climbed inside the bus and sat at one of the last few rows. He sighed and watched the passing view. Lots of people, cars and buildings. Time to let it all go.

Robin remembered it as clear as day. It had led him to this place. He groaned and curled up to himself.

He felt hot. His head was cloudy. Body heavy. Weak.

He was not doing so well and it's only getting worse.

* * *

Megan sat in her bedroom with her legs against her chest. Her normal routine would be to watch some 'Hello Megan!' but she couldn't even focus on it. It was so weird that Robin wasn't around. She wondered and she regret taking him for granted. The whole team might be to blame for taking him for granted as well and that made her a little better. She didn't even bother to put up her façade instead she just let her natural colors show. The green skin that she never felt comfortable in but she couldn't care less. She is not important at the moment. Robin is. She doesn't even know his real name. How much has she been ignoring him?

She made a last attempt as her eyes glowed green. She opened her mind links and she spread her search to a larger geographical area. It was loud and noisy with lots of murmuring of the crowds or other individuals. None of the voices sounded like Robin and she couldn't feel his mental presence anywhere. She sighed and ceased her power. Knowing her power would not make any significant progress. Megan prayed with all her heart that nothing has happened to him. She slowly placed her legs over the side of the bed before standing up and making her way towards the meeting area.

Megan recognized a particular blonde standing over the huge computer and was busy typing away. Her eyebrows were furrowed with intense concentration. The screen displayed dots across a map. She assumed the dots are the places that she checked into already. Megan approached Black Canary until she stood next to her.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Megan inquired.

Black Canary whipped her head towards the direction of Megan's voice.

"I should be fine, just trying to be thorough with my search."

"You know… Why didn't we ask the League to help us? That would expand the search parties and areas that we can look into right?"

Black Canary sighed recalling the words that Bruce said.

"The League has the 'the Light' to worry about. They are close to finding out their plans. Batman also wants to make sure that he has checked every nook and cranny for Robin."

"What's wrong with Robin?" a robotic voice called.

Both ladies turned around and their eyes met with the Robotic man who dawned a blue cape.

The blonde moved away from the computer and moved closer to Red Tornado. She knew how much Red Tornado genuinely cared for the team like his own kids. She figured that she will let him join in the search but under a condition.

"Red Tornado, we need your help to find Robin, he ran away when I was doing therapy with him. But we can't let 'the League' know because of Batman's word. I trust his decision as this is **'his son'** we are talking about."

Red Tornado started to collect air at his feet to prepare setting out on his search. He was desperate to make sure he was safe as well.

"I understand. Please keep me updated. I'm afraid for Robin." he said briefly as he went to the zeta tubes.

"1-6, Red Tornado"

"I think it's good we are getting help." Megan said while taking tentative steps towards Black Canary.

"I agree as well" Connor called out as he made his way over as well.

"The rest of the team are still searching and I came back with no luck as well."

Wolf made his way to Superboy's side and Connor in return gingerly pet his head.

"Wolf has trouble sniffing him out as well and I've been making rounds with Sphere as well… You don't think that… Robin is…"

"NO! Don't say that! We will find him!" Miss Megan cried out with her fists clenched.

"We have to…" Megan said as she sniffled which led to Connor hugging her for comfort.

"We will keep trying until we find him, we won't give up." Black Canary stated sternly.

Black Canary knew deep down knew if they don't find him soon. She was afraid it might lead to dire consequences.

* * *

Kid Flash made his rounds the city again but this time he was in Star City. His home which he grew up in. He was a streak of yellow and red and sent papers or light objects flying as he passed by. In the process of finding Robin. He was scrambling around in his thoughts to think of any place he could have missed. There was the BatCave. Check. The Mount Justice. Check. Gotham City. Check. Outskirts?

Kid Flash eyes widened at the thought of the word **'outskirts'**.

"Robin... you went to the other place that used to be your home but... oh no…"

Kid Flash skidded into a stop and made his ways into the outskirts where there were little towns. He made sharp turns until he found a warehouse that was empty. Robin took the circus. As crazy as that sounds. He knew the Boy Wonder was smart enough to figure out how but he couldn't have gone far. He went out of the town areas. Into an expanse land of dry land with only a couple of rocks structures or rocks of different sizes that stuck out of the ground. Until he saw a big red and white striped tent in the distance. He glanced around the place quickly. Not caring about the details as he wanted to see Robin. There were barrels, props and backdrop scattered about. That's when he saw a line of trailers with one of the lights on.

"ROBIN!"

He barged in through the door to witness a horrifying sight. Robin was lying on his side. He was sweaty and breathing rapidly through his mouth. He quickly kneeled next to him and turned him over. Using his hand to support his back. He was hot. Too hot. It had to be a really bad fever. Kid gently slapped his face. Robin eyes opened slightly. His pupils unfocused.

"Rob! ROB! Talk to me!" Kid Flash cried out.

"K...F?" he said with a hoarse voice.

Kid Flash sighed and placed his hands under his legs. He lifted him up bridal style.

"Shhh… Don't talk. I'm going to get you to the hospital." Wally's voice was shaky.

His world was spinning but he mustered enough strength to say what he needed to say.

"Don't…do that…B-Batman…Team-m… Will f-find…me…Can't…"

Wally was lost for words. He looked like he was dying but all he wanted was to be hidden away? He panicked and was lost on what course of action he should take next. One thing is for sure was that Robin needed help. A lot of help.

* * *

 _ **A bit of a cliffhanger there? Please let me know what you guys think. I was actually really hesitant for this. Because I'm scared my explanation or the way I progress the story had ruined the whole excitement for it. If you enjoy it, I'm glad. If you didn't, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Gosh I'm so shaky about this .**_

 _ **Again thanks for reading!**_


End file.
